So now someone has shot Phil’s car! This is getting serious, maybe? I am driving home yesterday and my cell goes off, pick it up and I see it’s from “home” so I know who is on the other end already!
“Can you meet me at Dale’s?” Pretty bad when the auto body guy is so well known I don’t even think to say "Dale who?" Actually when you think about how much body work Phil did on his old car it’s amazing we know anyone in this line of business.
“What’s up?”
“Somebody shot my car!”
“you’re joking! What do you mean?”
“Shot my car with a bb gun. Yep, right on the driver side door!”
So when I pull into Dale’s parking lot Phil is waiting for me and leans into my car and grabs my cell phone…he needs to document this atrocity for some future plan. He takes about 4 shots, but only one is viewable. The hole is very small, but definitely visible just above the driver’s door handle.
As we are driving home he is now speculating on who could be responsible for this dirty deed. What is amazing is that he goes through a series of possibilities before he zeros in on “BOB!” “He could just drive by and putsch” [demonstrated with a careful aim with a gun resting on your arm as you drive by (hope no one was looking at us as we drove along!)]
“So when did you notice this?” [I am expecting something along the lines of early this morning]
“On Monday”
Monday? Wow that is a long time to store up all this righteous indignation! Especially as he goes all the way back to re-telling the story of the kids who went into his old car and he caught them and they returned the next night to smear dog poop all over his car. So I am thinking “well maybe shooting the car is a step up in neighborhood hooliganism” Ya know the worst part of all these things is that Phil seems to take great delight in thinking up who is responsible. So far we are not storing up poop to wipe down anyone’s vehicle and I don’t think he would ever contemplate shooting an innocent car (now a motorcycle, hmmm that might be a little different,..he doesn’t think Bob should have one of those for some reason.)
He also asked me to determine if it was illegal to trap squirrels, I said I thought not, live trapping was probably okay. He “needs to know” because Bruce demanded to know and he wants to know so if he ever gets asked a gain he can answer. I suggested he look it up, he couldn’t find it,
so I said "well, call the city"
"hmm from an untraceable phone so I can …."
”What? What? You can be safe from the prying ears of a city employee who will report back to who that you, Phil, made an inquiry about trapping squirrels?"
He also need to know if its illegal to poison animals, including cats, I told him I didn’t need to look that one up and that he could be pretty sure that was illegal, and if they were actually contemplating that I would turn them in a heartbeat. I don’t want cats terrorizing our birds, but not to the point of killing them.
Phil says "No, no I’m not going to do anything, just let it all lay. I don’t intend to ever speak to them (Yosemite Sam and Charlie Brown) again".
Yeah sure, that is why you want all this ”illegal to do” ammunition, are you going to paper their gravestones with city ordinances?
Ta Ta,
Mom
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